— I was just about to. Where is he? Isn’t he in the operating room?
He pointed toward the end of the hallway.
I headed there before he could say anything else.
The door to Ben’s office was ajar.
I pushed it open.
An open folder lay on his desk.
On one page was an address in Oregon.
On the other — a start date six weeks from now.
The office looked as though someone had started emptying it.
Two shelves were empty. Books were packed in boxes lined up along the wall. A photo of Olive and me was wrapped in paper, and the mug she had once painted for him was already packed away.
— Chelsea?
I turned around.
Ben stood in the doorway holding a cup of coffee.
First I looked at him, then at the boxes.
— You accepted a job in Oregon?
His expression changed.
— I was going to tell you everything!
— Chelsea, let me explain.
I picked up the lunch bag.
— I brought you your favorite sandwich and apple pie because I thought you were tired. And meanwhile, you were packing your office.
He put his coffee down.
— I haven’t finished packing yet.
— And that’s supposed to make me feel better, Ben?
— No.
— When were you going to tell Olive?
His lips tightened.
— You first.
— And when were you going to tell me?
— Tonight.
— After you applied?
He nodded.
— After the interview?
Another nod.
— After you accepted the job?
— Yes.
I stared at him.
— When did all this start?
— Four months ago.
Four months.
— I didn’t know if I would get the job. The chances were small, Chels.
— But when you got it, you still did everything without me. You didn’t even tell me this was a possibility.
— This position means fewer night shifts, real weekends off, and a more manageable schedule. They want me to lead part of the department.
— And you decided that gave you the right to decide where we would live? You were going to move our child, and then somehow everything would just work itself out? What about my work, Ben?
— I thought this was our chance to get out of this. We barely have any time for each other anymore.
I stepped closer.
— Why wasn’t I part of this conversation?
His jaw tightened.
— Because I thought you’d refuse immediately before you even let me explain anything.
Exactly.
Ben had already decided what I would say before he had even given me a chance to think about it.
— So you didn’t need my opinion — I said quietly. — You needed me to accept a finished plan when there was nothing left to discuss.
— Chelsea, I’m trying to save our marriage.
— No. You’re trying to solve the problem for both of us by doing everything yourself. Like always.
I picked up the lunch bag.
— I’m not moving anywhere. And I’m not going to interrupt Olive’s school year.
He suddenly looked up.
— What?
— I’m not saying “never.” I’m saying you made this decision on your own. So now I’m making my own decision too.
I walked out before he could make another decision for me.
I reached the car and only then finally broke down crying.
Five minutes later, Arnold knocked on the window.
I rolled it down.
— Please, don’t explain my husband to me.
— I won’t. But don’t think he accepted the job only for the money.
— I don’t think that.
— He really believed he was fixing the situation.
— Then he should have talked to the person he was trying to fix everything for.
Arnold nodded.
— I completely agree with you on that.
Ben came home before Olive finished dinner.
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She looked at me first, then at him.
— Are you mad at each other?
— We’re upset — I answered. — But those are adult matters.
Ben nodded.
— Mom’s right.
Olive went back to her school project, and Ben barely touched his food.
When she went to bed, Ben followed me into the bedroom.
— Can we talk?
— Yes. But we’re not going to have the same conversation we already had at the hospital, Ben. Show me the offer.
He handed me the folder.
I read the salary, start date, relocation terms, and schedule before looking up.
— When did you go there?
His silence was already an answer.
— For the conference in May?
— I met with them while I was there.
— So you used a business trip to interview for a job that could move our family across the country.
— I was going to tell you when everything became real.
— Everything became real when you applied, Ben.
He sat on the bed.
— I thought you’d stop it.
— And you were so afraid of hearing “no” that you took away my chance to say anything.
— What do you want me to do now?
— Sleep in the guest room tonight.
He looked up.
— I’m not punishing you. I just need some space.
He nodded.
