Being a single parent could be one of the hardest things a person can ever experience, and I guess everyone who\u2019s ever found in a situation like that can tell you that.<\/p>\n
It was early that morning when I sat outside the mall in my car with Ivy and Lily sleeping in their stroller listening to an old voice note from Claire left after the delivery.<\/p>\n
In that message, she told me: \u201cMason, don\u2019t forget to buy some zip-up sleepers.\u201d And I asked laughing, \u201cWhy not buttoned ones?\u201d But she firmly replied, \u201cNo buttons at three in the morning,\u201d saying, \u201cListen, you will cry before the babies do.\u201d She said it while I was pressing my thumb on my wedding ring because the recorded me was agreeing \u201cFine,\u201d and \u201cZip-ups.\u201d Then Claire said, \u201cAnd yellow,\u201d as, in her opinion, \u201cEveryone chooses pink and babies are not cupcakes.\u201d<\/p>\n
I laughed at first, but soon those laughs changed into tears. Claire was gone for three weeks already, but I kept catching myself looking behind to say something to her. Everybody told me how brave I was managing alone, but I was not brave. I was just tired, scared, and improvising. However, as Claire chose yellow sleepers, I took stroller by the handle and whispered \u201cOkay, girls,\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re doing this for mom.\u201d<\/p>\n
I found the sleepers at the mall. As I looked down at Lily, I said, \u201cYour mom was right\u201d and \u201cButtons are a trap.\u201d The babies began screaming at once. Ivy was soaking wet. I softly said, \u201cOh, bug\u201d before turning to Lily, \u201cYeah, I know. You too. We\u2019re going.\u201d<\/p>\n
There was no changing table in the men\u2019s bathroom. A guard informed me that the family room was closed. I sighed, saying again, \u201cSo, the family room is closed, and there\u2019s no changing table in the men\u2019s bathroom?\u201d He simply said, \u201cYes,\u201d and \u201cSorry,\u201d while he pointed me towards the distant East Wing. An onlooker lady said to me, \u201cNo, you cannot go there. You are a man.\u201d When I explained what was going on and that I couldn\u2019t go elsewhere, she said it was not her problem.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t something that could wait until we got home, so I said to my twins, \u201cGirls, daddy\u2019s got you,\u201d and then I slung Ivy and walked towards the entrance to the women\u2019s restroom.<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry,\u201d I called out before entering. \u201cI have twin babies. There is no changing table in the men\u2019s restroom, the family room is not open, and I will only be two minutes.\u201d I laid Ivy down, and that\u2019s when this woman, Patricia, walked in.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou need to leave,\u201d she said. I began to apologize, \u201cI\u2019m sorry. I\u2019ll be out in one minute. My daughters needed\u2026\u201d but Patricia interrupted, \u201cSorry, not caring. This is a women\u2019s restroom.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMa\u2019am, I announced myself. I checked. I am not trying to disrupt anything,\u201d I continued. But she only said, \u201cThen leave.\u201d<\/p>\n
But when both babies cried, Patricia said, \u201cThat\u2019s why babies need mothers and not some dumb man who knows nothing about them.\u201d That hurt because my head was flooded by Claire\u2019s voice that told me \u201cYou are going to be such a good father,\u201d before the doctor\u2019s devastating \u201cWe are sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n
Unsplash
\n\u201cTheir mother died giving birth to them. Don\u2019t use that to their disadvantage.\u201d She then said, \u201cNot an excuse for invading women\u2019s private places.\u201d As she continued saying, \u201cLeave! Now!\u201d I looked into her eyes and said, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n
She blinked in surprise saying, \u201cNo?\u201d As I completed zipping Ivy, I said, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not leaving Lily wet because I don\u2019t feel like being uncomfortable about fathers fulfilling their duties.\u201d She responded saying that it wasn\u2019t my choice; however, I said, \u201cIt is, since she is my daughter.\u201d She took out her cell phone saying, \u201cThen, I\u2019ll call the security.\u201d I responded saying, \u201cYes, go ahead and call them,\u201d adding, \u201cBut don\u2019t stand so close.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
She called aloud, \u201cSecurity to the women\u2019s bathroom by the baby department. There is a man in here who isn\u2019t leaving.\u201d She even shouted from the door saying, \u201cThere is a man in the women\u2019s restroom!\u201d I didn\u2019t pay attention to her and said softly to Lily, \u201cI\u2019m almost done,\u201d while Patricia kept asking me to pack up. I told her, \u201cStep back please, I\u2019m holding one baby and changing another.\u201d<\/p>\n
In the hallway, Patricia followed me, demanding, \u201cDo you understand who you\u2019re talking to?\u201d She bragged about her job at the city\u2019s largest rental network\u2014where I had just applied for housing. Seeing my face fall, she threatened, \u201cOne call,\u201d and \u201cand you\u2019ll never find a place to live in this city again. I just need your name, and it\u2019s all over.\u201d I told her, \u201cThat\u2019s illegal,\u201d but she insisted rules didn\u2019t apply to me. When I said, \u201cYou can\u2019t threaten housing because I changed my babies,\u201d she claimed, \u201cI can protect my community from unstable people.\u201d I stood my ground: \u201cYou can call whoever you want, but you\u2019re not going to shame me into failing my daughters.\u201d<\/p>\n
All of a sudden, a young pregnant couple appeared before me. The woman said, \u201cMom. Stop.\u201d Patricia urged them to keep out of it.<\/p>\n
Unsplash
\nThe pregnant woman turned out to be Patricia\u2019s daughter, Paige, who had been listening from the hallway to my apologies. She told her mother, \u201cBeing pregnant is exactly why I know how mercilessly you are acting.\u201d Her husband, Lucas, supported her when he added, \u201cOur baby needs both of us.\u201d Patricia tried to explain that women were different from men, but Lucas replied that \u201cThis is where it ends,\u201d adding, \u201cIf you can respect both parents or not, please don\u2019t bring such an attitude to our home. Patricia, you threatened this man\u2019s home.\u201d<\/p>\n
Paige began crying, saying, \u201cMom, if anything happened to me, I would pray that Lucas fought as hard for our baby as he did.\u201d Patricia retorted, \u201cBut he had no right,\u201d yet I intervened, \u201cBut I didn\u2019t have any other choice either.\u201d<\/p>\n
Security and the mall manager showed up. Patricia declared, \u201cThis man used the women\u2019s bathroom.\u201d Then I told them that there were no facilities, saying, \u201cSince there was no table in the men\u2019s room, the family restroom in this wing was unavailable, and the East Wing is a 15-minute walk. I gave them my name and apologized.<\/p>\n
Lucas turned to the manager for filing a complaint against the mall because fathers should be recognized as well, and he demanded the number of his complaint to keep track of it. The manager agreed with him and totally shut up Patricia by mentioning that I only tried to solve a problem of having no facilities while she had been making things worse.<\/p>\n
Unsplash
\nAfter that, the manager offered me a private room which had a clean table and some chairs. I said, \u201cThank you, I just need them dry and calm.\u201d Paige told her mother that she was to apologize to me. When Patricia tried to explain that she didn\u2019t know about my wife, I told her, \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t have needed to.\u201d After that, Paige threatened her that if she would ever treat Lucas as she treated me, they would have huge problems.<\/p>\n
Inside the staff room, Paige came in with some dropped supplies, saying, \u201cThese fell out,\u201d and apologized on behalf of her mom. I told her, \u201cIt wasn\u2019t you.\u201d Lucas agreed to ensure that the complaint got attention, and I said, \u201cPlease put my name on it as well,\u201d because, when I looked at my girls, \u201cI don\u2019t want another dad in that hallway the way I stood.\u201d<\/p>\n
Finally, I purchased those yellow sleepers. At home, I placed them into their cribs and kissed my wedding band, whispering, \u201cWe survived the day, Claire.\u201d Looking at my girls, I finally believed we could.<\/p>\n
Please SHARE this article with your family and friends on Facebook.<\/p>\n
Love and Peace<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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