<\/center><\/div>\n
I was burning with 39\u00b0C of fever when my mother-in-law broke into my bedroom, took a picture of me and publicly humiliated me on the Internet. But what my husband did afterwards bothered me even more.<\/p>\n
The kitchen was still dark that Monday morning when I poured my first cup of coffee. The refrigerator buzzed gently and Nathan\u2019s leisurely breathing came from the bedroom at the end of the hallway.<\/p>\n
Six in the morning had always been my time.<\/p>\n
Easy. Organized. Mine.<\/p>\n
Before sunlight reached the kitchen window, he had already prepared Nathan\u2019s lunch, folded a batch of dryer towels and answered three job emails.<\/p>\n
I didn’t do it to show off.<\/p>\n
It was simply the routine I had built during eight years of marriage, in a small house I really loved.<\/p>\n
Nathan appeared in the kitchen around half past six, with his hair completely disheveled, and kissed me on the crown.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve already done half a day,\u201d he murmured.<\/p>\n
\u201cSomeone has to,\u201d I replied, bringing his lunch closer.<\/p>\n
He smiled while drinking his coffee.<\/p>\n
\u201cMom would say you\u2019re bragging.<\/p>\n
I rolled my eyes, although the joke touched a more sensitive point than I wanted to admit.<\/p>\n
Patricia, my mother-in-law, had a habit of appearing unannounced.<\/p>\n
Every time he came, he passed a finger over the frame of a picture, lifted him up into the light and emitted a small sound.<\/p>\n
Just that.<\/p>\n
A simple “mmm”.<\/p>\n
Somehow, that sound was worse than a direct criticism.<\/p>\n
I cared more about his approval than I liked to recognize.<\/p>\n
In Thanksgiving the previous year, I had tried a bite of my roast, carefully left the fork on the table and asked if I had used sea salt or \u201cthe normal one.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe normal one, Patricia,\u201d I replied.<\/p>\n
\u201cMmm. That explains it.<\/p>\n
Nathan squeezed my knee under the table, but he didn’t argue with her.<\/p>\n
I rarely did.<\/p>\n
He once told me that he had stopped trying to correct his mother around the age of twelve.<\/p>\n
I kept telling myself that his comments didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n
However, every time Patricia announced a visit, she cleaned twice as much as usual.<\/p>\n
There was something about her that I always thought was strange.<\/p>\n
In eight years, he had never invited us to his home.<\/p>\n
Not once.<\/p>\n
One afternoon I offered to take their shopping bags in. Patricia immediately took my bag off and told me to wait in the car.<\/p>\n
As he walked away, I noticed a sour smell in his coat and a yellow spot that he quickly tried to cover with his hand.<\/p>\n
A few days later, I mentioned it to Nathan.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s very weird,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
\u201cMay your mother never invite us to her house. He always comes here, checks my skirting boards, but he never lets us into his.<\/p>\n
Nathan paused while one of the shoes was tied.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe likes to be the guest,\u201d she finally replied. He likes to keep control.<\/p>\n
\u201cHas it always been that way?\u201d<\/p>\n
“Yes. When I was a kid, I cleaned only the room before visitors arrived and closed all the other doors.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen you inherited family hospitality.<\/p>\n
\u201cApparently.<\/p>\n
Then he studied my face.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you okay?\u201d You look weird.<\/p>\n
I hadn’t slept much that night.<\/p>\n
Around midnight I started to cough. In the morning, every breath hurt and the chills roamed my whole body.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine.<\/p>\n
Nathan got up and crossed the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Claire.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m fine.<\/p>\n
I had already had the temperature twice during the night.<\/p>\n
The last reading was 39 \u00b0C.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re going to stay in bed today,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
I’ll be fine. Go to work.<\/p>\n
Claire, you’re shaking. Sit down.<\/p>\n
I sat down, mainly because the room had started to go around.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m going to call work,\u201d he said. I’ll stay with you.<\/p>\n
“No. Go to work. I’ll sleep and it’ll pass me.<\/p>\n
Claire.<\/p>\n
Nathan, go. I promise I’ll rest.<\/p>\n
He hesitated before kissing my forehead and leaving.<\/p>\n
At eleven, my fever was still around 39 \u00b0C.<\/p>\n
Nathan had called twice to make sure that I hadn\u2019t gotten out of bed and finally got to sleep.<\/p>\n
He was between dreams when, at 11:30, the bedroom door was suddenly opened so hard that he hit the wall.<\/p>\n
Patricia was there, holding our emergency key between two fingers as if she had just won something.<\/p>\n
\u201cIT\u2019S ALMOST NOON!\u201d he announced. And here you are, still in bed like a princess.<\/p>\n
I tried to join.<\/p>\n
My arms were shaking.<\/p>\n
Patrick, I’m sick.<\/p>\n
He went even deeper into the room.<\/p>\n
We all got sick, Claire. In my time we woke up. We took care of our husbands.<\/p>\n
I have 39 \u00b0C of fever.<\/p>\n
He looked at the handkerchiefs, the medicines and the water that were by the bed.<\/p>\n
Nathan is working while you’re lying here. Get up and make him a decent dinner.<\/p>\n
I can’t even stand up.<\/p>\n
Then Patricia pulled out her phone.<\/p>\n
When he pointed the camera at me, I felt my stomach shrink.<\/p>\n
Patrick, please don’t.<\/p>\n
\u201cSmile.<\/p>\n
Patrick, no. I beg you.<\/p>\n
He lowered the phone with a little smile of satisfaction.<\/p>\n
Maybe a little shame will motivate you. Nathan deserves better than this.<\/p>\n
Then he left.<\/p>\n
A few moments later I heard the front door closed.<\/p>\n
Ten minutes later, my phone vibrated.<\/p>\n
My hands were shaking when I picked it up.<\/p>\n
There I was.<\/p>\n
He had messy hair, swollen eyes, and mouth slightly open while he was sleeping.<\/p>\n
Under the photo, Patricia had written with her cheerful and public tone:<\/p>\n
<\/center><\/div>\n
\u201cGood morning everyone who really gets up, they go to work and take care of their family instead of sleeping until noon like my daughter-in-law.\u201d<\/p>\n
The comments were already appearing.<\/p>\n
Women of your church.<\/p>\n
Members of your book club.<\/p>\n
Old neighbors.<\/p>\n
“Poor Nathan.”<\/p>\n
\u201cThe young people of today.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIn my time, we would never have done that.\u201d<\/p>\n
I put the phone upside down.<\/p>\n
For eight years I had tried to convince myself that Patricia\u2019s opinion didn\u2019t matter.<\/p>\n
Now he had shared his judgment on me with hundreds of people.<\/p>\n
I cried until my chest hurt more than the fever.<\/p>\n
When Nathan arrived home that afternoon, I handed him the phone without saying a word.<\/p>\n
He read Patricia’s publication.<\/p>\n
Then he went down for the comments.<\/p>\n
I was hoping he’d pick up the keys and go straight to his mother’s.<\/p>\n
Instead, he carefully left my phone on the table, sat next to me on the bed and took my hand.<\/p>\n
Don’t answer, Claire. Not a word. Please trust me.<\/p>\n
Nathan, she…<\/p>\n
I know. I know exactly what he did.<\/p>\n
He kissed my knuckles.<\/p>\n
There was something different about her expression.<\/p>\n
Easy.<\/p>\n
Controlled.<\/p>\n
Almost disturbingly serene.<\/p>\n
I figured I wanted me to ignore Patricia and move on.<\/p>\n
I couldn’t have been more wrong.<\/p>\n
By the third night, I was finally getting better.<\/p>\n
At two in the morning I woke up and saw a blue light seeping down the hallway.<\/p>\n
I walked quietly to the kitchen.<\/p>\n
Nathan was sitting at the table with a cup of cold coffee beside him.<\/p>\n
On her laptop was an enlarged photograph of Patricia’s porch.<\/p>\n
The doormat was sunk near the door. There was a paper bag next to him. A dark spot marked the threshold.<\/p>\n
Next to the computer was a notebook.<\/p>\n
Nathan had written down an hour, one address and four words:<\/p>\n
Refrigerator. Closets. Washing machine. Towels.<\/p>\n
Each was underlined twice.<\/p>\n
\u201cNathan?\u201d<\/p>\n
He quickly put his hand on the notebook.<\/p>\n
What are you doing?<\/p>\n
\u201cThinking.<\/p>\n
He partially closed the laptop.<\/p>\n
\u201cGo back to bed. I’ll be right away.<\/p>\n
There was something unsettlingly quiet in his eyes.<\/p>\n
I had no idea I was planning to wake up before dawn.<\/p>\n
One hand touched my shoulder in the dark.<\/p>\n
When I opened my eyes, Nathan was standing by the bed holding my coat. The keys were already in his other hand.<\/p>\n
Dress up, honey. In silence.<\/p>\n
Nathan, it’s not even five.<\/p>\n
I know. That’s the goal.<\/p>\n
Twenty minutes later, we stopped in front of Patricia’s house.<\/p>\n
The porch light was off. Only a window of the neighboring house remained dimly lit.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre we really going to do this?\u201d I whispered.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe used our emergency key to get in when you were sick,\u201d she replied. I still have the one he gave me years ago.<\/p>\n
Until that moment I had assumed that Nathan had taken me there to confront her.<\/p>\n
I was wrong.<\/p>\n
He inserted the emergency key into the lock and opened the door slowly.<\/p>\n
I went in behind him.<\/p>\n
And I was paralyzed.<\/p>\n
The entrance table was covered by a thin gray layer of dust.<\/p>\n
There were shoes pulled near the wall.<\/p>\n
A sour smell came from the kitchen, where the dishes were stacked higher than the sink and a dirty towel lay wrinkled in the ground.<\/p>\n
For eight years she had tried to comply with rules that Patricia could not even comply with herself.<\/p>\n
Nathan, look at this.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s worse than he remembered,\u201d he murmured. Go on.<\/p>\n
Then I remembered her list.<\/p>\n
Refrigerator. Closets. Washing machine. Towels.<\/p>\n
I looked at him.<\/p>\n
He hadn’t taken us there on impulse.<\/p>\n
I’d been planning it for days.<\/p>\n
We move quietly down the hallway.<\/p>\n
Arriving in Patricia’s bedroom, Nathan looked at me and turned on the light.<\/p>\n
The light hit him straight on the face.<\/p>\n
He suddenly stood up, his hair completely disheveled on one side and his eyes swollen with sleep.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat… what are you doing here?\u201d he babbled.<\/p>\n
Nathan picked up the phone.<\/p>\n
Patricia was paralyzed.<\/p>\n
Nathan. No.<\/p>\n
He didn’t take any photographs.<\/p>\n
He just kept the phone pointing at her.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy not?\u201d he asked. You thought it was okay when Claire asked you for exactly the same thing.<\/p>\n
Patricia covered herself with the blanket up to her chin.<\/p>\n
\u201cKeep that.<\/p>\n
It’s almost five in the morning, Mom. Claire’s awake and you’re still in bed. Imagine what your Facebook friends would say.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not funny.<\/p>\n
“No,” Nathan replied. He doesn’t have it.<\/p>\n
Neither of them moved.<\/p>\n
Then Nathan lowered the phone.<\/p>\n
Patricia finally looked at me.<\/p>\n
\u201cClaire, honey…<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I said. You can’t call me love now.<\/p>\n
He was silent.<\/p>\n
I looked down the hall behind us.<\/p>\n
The dust.<\/p>\n
The clothes.<\/p>\n
The messy kitchen.<\/p>\n
Suddenly I understood what Nathan had been preparing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI actually,\u201d I said, \u201cI have a better idea.<\/p>\n
I sat on the edge of Patricia’s comfortable.<\/p>\n
Go back to your post. Tell all the women who called me vague that I had 39\u00b0C of fever when you took that picture. Tell them you let them laugh at me anyway. And then apologize.<\/p>\n
Patricia’s face hardened.<\/p>\n
I’m not going to do that.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen prove you were right,\u201d I said. Tomorrow at noon, we will both make a live broadcast from our respective houses and perform the same cleaning tasks. Refrigerator, closets, clothes, towels. Let everyone see who really practices what he preaches.<\/p>\n
He stared at me.<\/p>\n
What if I say no?<\/p>\n
\u201cThen Nathan and I will take pictures of you and this house and publish them ourselves. Everyone who laughed at me will finally know the truth.<\/p>\n
He squeezed his jaw.<\/p>\n
What if I accept?<\/p>\n
I looked at his kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen we make it interesting. The one who loses will have a punishment. In front of everyone.<\/p>\n
His eyes narrowed.<\/p>\n
What punishment?<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
You will find out tomorrow.<\/p>\n
For the first time, Patricia hesitated.<\/p>\n
He could see the decision forming in his gaze.<\/p>\n
I could admit I had lied about myself.<\/p>\n
Or I could accept the challenge and prove that it was as perfect as I had been pretending to be for eight years.<\/p>\n
He finally raised his chin.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s okay. At noon.<\/p>\n
I smiled.<\/p>\n
I still didn’t know what losing was going to cost him.<\/p>\n
The live broadcast began at noon the next day.<\/p>\n
I was moving through my kitchen while Patricia appeared in a small box next to me on the screen.<\/p>\n
\u201cFirst the fridge,\u201d someone said.<\/p>\n
I opened mine and started cleaning the shelves.<\/p>\n
Patricia suddenly opened hers.<\/p>\n
A bottle fell and broke.<\/p>\n
His kitchen looked considerably cleaner than during our early morning visit.<\/p>\n
Clearly, I had been practicing.<\/p>\n
But her kitchen did not agree with her.<\/p>\n
\u201cGood start, Patricia![\"\ud83d\ude02\"](\"https:\/\/s.w.org\/images\/core\/emoji\/17.0.2\/svg\/1f602.svg\")
.\u201d<\/p>\n
Forced a smile.<\/p>\n
Accidents happen.<\/p>\n
Then he knocked down a carton of milk.<\/p>\n
The milk was spilled on the shelf and he soaked his socks.<\/p>\n
“Fridge: 2. Patricia: 0”.<\/p>\n
I looked at my flawless shelf.<\/p>\n
Do you want me to give you a minute to reach me?<\/p>\n
Patricia\u2019s expression answered for her.<\/p>\n
More comments appeared.<\/p>\n
\u201cNext task!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe top of the fridge!\u201d<\/p>\n
Patricia stretched her arm and spent two fingers over it.<\/p>\n
They came back covered in grey.<\/p>\n
\u201cOH, MY GOD, HE HAS DISCOVERED A NEW KIND OF DUST.\u201d<\/p>\n
His smile disappeared.<\/p>\n
Then came the closets.<\/p>\n
Patricia opened one too fast and three plastic containers fell on the countertop.<\/p>\n
\u201cTHE CLOSET IS DEFENDING ITSELF.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/center><\/div>\n
Meanwhile, I had already finished my closets and started with the clothes.<\/p>\n
When someone suggested folding a sheet, Patricia seemed personally betrayed on the Internet.<\/p>\n
Then someone asked us to clean the extractor bells.<\/p>\n
It took only a few seconds for mine.<\/p>\n
Patricia cleaned hers twice, but the cloth was still coming out of fat brown.<\/p>\n
I raised my clean cloth and laughed.<\/p>\n
\u201cPatricia, do you want me to pretend I haven\u2019t seen that?\u201d<\/p>\n
She’s not laughing.<\/p>\n
That’s when Patricia stopped acting.<\/p>\n
His bright Facebook smile disappeared.<\/p>\n
The little speeches about how things had to be done were also missing.<\/p>\n
He just stood there, holding the dirty cloth as the comments quickly passed through the screen.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know why everyone is turning against me,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
But it didn’t sound angry anymore.<\/p>\n
Then I noticed that his hand was shaking.<\/p>\n
\u201cPatricia,\u201d I said. Forget the comments. Finish the task.<\/p>\n
He looked at me through the screen.<\/p>\n
I can’t.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat do you mean?<\/p>\n
Patricia slowly dropped to the kitchen floor.<\/p>\n
I mean I can\u2019t do any of this, Claire. I never could.<\/p>\n
The comments suddenly stopped.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou and Nathan have this… this life. Your house, your work, the prepared food. You make everything seem so easy.<\/p>\n
He wiped his face.<\/p>\n
\u201cEvery time I went to your house, I was looking for something that was wrong. Dust. The food. The clothes. Anything. Because if I found something you were failing at, I didn\u2019t have to feel ashamed of what I was failing here in.<\/p>\n
I stared at her.<\/p>\n
Did you look for reasons to judge me?<\/p>\n
\u201cI was looking for reason not to judge myself.<\/p>\n
He looked around his kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd when I saw you in bed that day, I finally had something I could use against you. So I did.<\/p>\n
Suddenly, eight years of small \u201cmmm\u201d, inspections, corrections and impossible expectations made sense.<\/p>\n
They had never really had to do with my house.<\/p>\n
They had to do with theirs.<\/p>\n
I looked at Patricia’s picture on the screen.<\/p>\n
Three days before, I wanted to humiliate her.<\/p>\n
Ten minutes earlier he wanted to beat him in his own game.<\/p>\n
Now he had won.<\/p>\n
And suddenly, I didn’t mind winning anymore.<\/p>\n
\u201cNathan,\u201d I said. Finish the transmission.<\/p>\n
Patricia looked up.<\/p>\n
\u2014Claire…<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re done.<\/p>\n
An hour later, Nathan and I were back in front of Patricia’s house.<\/p>\n
This time we knocked on the door.<\/p>\n
Nathan quietly removed our emergency key from Patricia’s keychain.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ll come when you\u2019re invited,\u201d she said. Not before.<\/p>\n
She nodded.<\/p>\n
She looked smaller somehow.<\/p>\n
Tired.<\/p>\n
Then he looked down.<\/p>\n
I’m sorry, Claire.<\/p>\n
I waited.<\/p>\n
Patricia had already apologized before: for being \u201ctoo honest\u201d, for \u201churting my feelings\u201d, for things that somehow always ended up becoming my fault.<\/p>\n
This time he didn’t add anything.<\/p>\n
\u201cThank you,\u201d I said. It’s a beginning.<\/p>\n
During the journey home, Nathan reached out and took mine.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought of that little \u201cmmm\u201d of Patricia and in all the years that I had spent trying to avoid hearing it.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes,\u201d I replied. I’m not gonna try to impress your mother anymore.<\/p>\n
Nathan smiled.<\/p>\n
-Okay.<\/p>\n
And for once, that was enough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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