“NO! How dare you make me look like some deadbeat?”
“I didn’t make you look like anything, Derek.”
“What am I supposed to tell my mother?”
“Tell people the truth.”
“The truth.”
“And what’s that?”
“Tell her I broke my arm. Tell her I asked you to help me. Tell her you said moms don’t get sick days.”
Silence.
Then Derek said, “You’re humiliating me.”
That was when I understood.
“You’re humiliating me.”
“You weren’t embarrassed when you said it.”
“What?”
“You weren’t embarrassed when I was begging you.”
“Hope.”
“You’re embarrassed someone might find out.”
My hand shook when I ended the call.
“You weren’t embarrassed when you said it.”
Mom noticed.
She just reached for Miles.
“Give him here.”
“I can hold him.”
“I know.”
That was different from “You can’t.”
So I let her.
“Give him here.”
***
Derek arrived the next evening looking furious.
“My mother called me,” he said as I let him in. “She wanted to see you and the boys. I had to tell her you weren’t home.”
“And?”
“She asked why.”
I watched his jaw tighten.
“My mother called me.”
“What did you tell her?”
“The truth, apparently.”
That surprised me.
Derek looked toward the living room.
“She asked whether I’d been helping since you broke your arm.”
“What did you tell her?”
“And?”
“I told her you’re home with the boys, and I’m at work all day.”
I waited.
Derek rubbed the back of his neck.
“Then she asked why you had to leave the house just to get someone to help you.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her you’re home with the boys.”
He looked away.
“Nothing.”
“Why not?”
His jaw tightened. “Because I knew how it sounded.”
Before I could answer, Miles started crying. Derek looked at me automatically.
“Hope?”
“Why not?”
I stayed where I was.
“You’ve got him.”
“I don’t know what he wants.”
“Neither do I yet.”
“You usually know.”
“I usually find out.”
I stayed where I was.
He hesitated before lifting Miles.
The crying got louder.
“See?” Derek said. “I’m making it worse.”
“You’ve held him for ten seconds.”
“What do I do?”
The answers lined up in my head.
“I’m making it worse.”
Instead, I said, “Start paying attention.”
He began pacing too fast. Miles cried harder. Derek slowed down, and a minute later, the crying softened.
