The second time, the same thing happened.
Then the third.
After our fourth daughter was born, I finally told him:
“Mark, I think this is enough. We have four children. I don’t want to get pregnant again.”
He didn’t argue.
He simply said:
“Okay.”
But after that, I began noticing strange things.
Whenever he saw a father walking down the street with his little boy, Mark’s eyes would linger on them.
Whenever one of his friends had a son, Mark congratulated them, but afterward he would remain silent the entire drive home.
Once, I even heard him quietly say to himself:
“Some people get lucky so easily.”
I pretended I hadn’t heard him.
My fifth pregnancy was completely unexpected.
When I showed him the positive pregnancy test, Mark stared at me for a long moment.
Then he smiled.
“This time, it’s a boy.”
“Mark, it’s way too early to know.”
He shook his head.
“No. I know.”
There was something about his certainty that actually made me uneasy.
And months later, the doctor confirmed it.
We were having a boy.
Mark sat silently in the car afterward, then covered his face with his hands and began to cry.
I had never seen him like that before.
“Finally,” he whispered.
That one word hurt me.
Finally?
Then what were our four daughters?
I didn’t want to argue.
I wanted to believe that he was simply overwhelmed with emotion.
The delivery was long and difficult.
When I finally heard my son’s first cry, I closed my eyes and burst into tears.
“He’s a healthy baby boy,” the doctor said.
We named him Luke.
A few minutes later, the nurse wrapped Luke in a blanket and walked over to Mark.
“Dad, are you ready to hold your son for the first time?”
The smile I had been waiting to see throughout my entire pregnancy appeared on Mark’s face.
He held out his arms.
The nurse placed Luke in them.
For the first two seconds, everything seemed perfect.
Mark was smiling.
Then suddenly, his expression changed.
He pulled the baby a little closer.
His eyes locked onto something.
I couldn’t see what it was.
“Mark… what’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer.
His fingers began to tremble.
“Mark.”
This time, he lifted his head and looked at me.
I will never forget that expression.
There was no happiness in his eyes anymore.
Only shock and fear.
“This is impossible,” he whispered.
